"And yours, is he sleeping well?" Sleep is a frequent concern of parents exhausted by baby's choppy nights. Be patient for the first three months, and create a climate of serenity conducive to sleep. The key to your rest should be at the end of the road… The opinion of our specialist.

We've all heard a parent talk about their wonderful baby sleeping through the night right out of the maternity ward. Lucky ones... But don't feel guilty, she has nothing to do with it, and neither do you. Many factors related to your baby's health and growth can disrupt your baby's sleep: teething, colic, separation anxiety... There are many methods to remedy these problems and help your baby to sleep better.

The different stages of baby sleep

From birth to 3 years old, the organization of sleep is set up for babies. Around the age of 3, he will reach "the same stages as those of an adult", notes the Morphée network in its article "Baby's sleep" .

All studies and observations show that there are several states of alertness that make up baby's sleep. The Morphée network cites four stages of baby sleep:

Calm sleep: "it is characterized by the near immobility of the baby. It remains toned, with closed fists, brought back to the thorax. The eyes are closed without eye movement. The breathing is calm and regular";

Restless sleep: "it is characterized by the presence of rapid eye movements as well as body movements. Breathing accelerates and muscle atony is interrupted by body movements. The face is very expressive";

The calm vigil: this is a rarer phase. “These are brief moments of a few minutes during which the baby can be attentive to his environment”;

Restless vigil: it may or may not be accompanied by crying, during which the child is no longer attentive to his environment.

Why baby sleeps at night but not during the day?

It is a fact, with rare exceptions: babies confuse day and night. Their biological clock, which regulates periods of wakefulness and sleep, is not yet adjusted. In most children leaving the maternity ward, the sleep phases are short and interspersed with phases of awakening to suckle. It will take them 100 days to settle down and make their night.

Why does my baby sleep little or badly?

First of all, do not worry: if your baby sleeps little, it is not very serious. There are babies who are heavy sleepers, others who are small... Especially since during his first months of life, your toddler may have short sleep cycles, even at night, which will lengthen as he and as you go. Rather than taking into account the quantity of sleep, take into account its quality: your baby is a light sleeper, but when he wakes up, he seems rested? He smiles, is in a good mood, does not cry... So everything is fine!

But sometimes, manifestations related to his development can disturb his sleep. The Morphée network cites several :

infant colic;

teething;

ear infections;

gastroesophageal reflux disease (GERD) can cause regurgitation which is painful;

allergy to cow's milk proteins, with non-specific symptoms: "at night, the child is restless and painful, and during the day he is irritable and uncomfortable";

Finally, "it can be simple" small food errors ", notes the Morpheus network. "If the liquid intake is too low, the child can be constipated and have a stomach ache", for example.

The rhythm of the infant up to 3 months: how to make baby sleep?

"The environment and parental intervention in the baby's sleep are two very important elements for the establishment of biological rhythms", notes the Morphée network (source 1). It's your turn !

The first year of life, the toddler is supposed to sleep in the morning and also take a nap in the afternoon. If it's nap time, don't put him in total darkness, but let a trickle of light filter through, for example, by leaving the shutters of his room ajar;

It is also possible to use different intonations of voices. Speak normally during the day and if you have to go see him at night, whisper, speak softly;

The first three months, the nights are most often a succession of feedings. It is therefore very practical to have your child at hand, more reassuring too. Afterwards, get him used to sleeping in his own room;

If he does not yet have a room of his own, isolate him from your bed with a screen or a thick "black-out" curtain which will also act as a sound insulator;

Putting your baby to sleep in the parental bed can be dangerous. Cosleeping puts the child at several risks. He can be caught in the paperweight between his two parents, find himself buried under the duvet, or suffocated against the wall or under a pillow.

Finally, be patient: your toddler is not trying to bother you, he doesn't even know what the word caprice means. Admit it right away. It is up to you to adapt your sleep to his rhythm for two or three months, or even four in the worst case.

The baby bed, a crucial element for his sleep

Whether baby is sleeping in the parental room or in his own room, there are certain rules to follow.

Lay your baby in his crib or in a fairly small bed. Babies like to have the feeling of touching the edges of the bed, it reassures them.

Use a firm mattress that is well suited to the bed, without a pillow or duvet and prefer an over-pajama or a sleeping bag rather than a blanket

Lay your baby on his back: simply implementing this position has reduced the risk of sudden infant death syndrome by 75%.

Do not cover it too much and avoid pillows and choose a sufficiently firm mattress.

From birth, you can opt for both a cradle and a crib. The main thing is to choose a mattress that is perfectly suited to the size of the bedding and firm enough so that your baby does not sink into it too much.

If you choose a crib, check with the seller which gap between the slats is narrow enough to prevent a baby from slipping their head through. Think of the bumper, practical to counter drafts. It must be thin and fasten with short ties to tie on the outside, so that the little sleeper cannot reach them. Above all, no closed loop which carries a real risk of strangulation.

For safety reasons, the duvet is not suitable for children under 3 years old. Below this age, to keep your baby warm when he sleeps, you have the choice between an overpajama or a sleeping bag (also called sleeping bag), a kind of sleeping bag with suspenders adapted to his height and weight and whose the thickness varies with the season... So that your little one does not slip inside his sleeping bag, do not choose it too large. Keep the first size, at least until its first six months.

Baby's sleep from 4 months: tips to help him sleep through the night

After the age of 4 months, most children sleep through the night, except that some are heavy sleepers and others are small. There are also night owls and early risers.

Observe what works best for your child rather than wanting to dictate your pace. Do not put a child to bed who shows no signs of sleep! Be flexible. Do not have the secret hope that by making him skip his nap, he will sleep better at night;

Do not remove the night bottle, if he still feels the need. It is often in this phase that the baby's bed leaves the parents' room to join his;

Speak to him gently and reassure him;

Create a ritual: Babies love habits. Through actions, your child will be better able to understand that we are entering a new period, that of the night. For example, you can read him a story or sing him a lullaby while he is lying in bed. Maybe he'll be able to sleep better with a mobile that broadcasts images on the ceiling;

Check that the temperature of the chamber fluctuates between 18 and 19°C and that the atmosphere is sufficiently humid. Otherwise, use a humidifier;

Give him a bath in the evening to relax him;

If he's crying out for a pacifier, especially if you're not breastfeeding him, don't struggle. Some children feel the need to suck more than others;

If you want him to wait a little alone in his bed in the morning, be careful not to create a dark night in his room (simple curtains or night light) and leave a few toys or a mobile at his disposal. But from three months (when he weighs 5 to 6 kilos), when he is able to do his nights, do not hesitate to plunge him into complete darkness.

Finally, this is very important: do not get angry or threaten to close the door as if sleep was a punishment. And avoid taking him in your arms or in your bed at the slightest cry from him. A child must learn to go back to sleep on their own. Wait 5 to 10 minutes before joining. Do not take him out of bed: pet him and reassure him.

When baby does not sleep through the night and cries, what to do?

Have you got into the habit of putting him to sleep and holding your baby close to you for a bit before putting him in his bed? It's completely normal for the first few weeks, he needs contact with his mum or dad. But it should not be likened to an evening ritual. Pay attention to the little signs of sleep: he yawns, he scratches his eyes. It is useless in these moments to play. On the contrary, take advantage of this moment to slip him into bed.

If you want him to sleep well, you should put him in bed as soon as his eyes start to close. Say "good night" to him and leave the room without waiting for him to really fall asleep. It is important that your child manages to self-regulate.

He is only a few weeks old and he cries at night, normal he is hungry, he needs you, your comfort. But from the moment he is old enough to sleep a full night, you have to be a little more firm. Of course there is no question of letting him scream for hours, he may be in pain or embarrassed. Little by little you will come to perceive, according to the intensity of his voice, what he wants.

If your baby doesn't calm down on his own after a few minutes, go to his room. After checking that everything is fine, stay close to him for a while, talk to him softly and put a hand on him to reassure him without taking him in your arms. Your mere presence should reassure him to fall back into his sleep.

If your child cries every night after four months, talk to your pediatrician. Your baby may be in pain. Gastroesophageal reflux, colitis, teething, latent otitis, etc., can prevent him from falling asleep or wake him up during the night.

It may also be wise to contact an osteopath. A simple congenital torticollis sometimes explains night crying. Gentle manipulations on the skull can perfectly relieve it and help it to get back to sleep.

Disturbed sleep: your baby has gastroesophageal reflux, what to do?

"Gastroesophageal reflux affects a third of babies before one year, says Dr. Stéphane Clerget, child psychiatrist, specialist in child sleep."The small valve located at the top of the esophagus, which is supposed to prevent the ascent of the stomach contents, is still immature at this age".

This reflux occurs several hours after the meal. These acid reflux are very painful for the baby and disturb his sleep.

What to do ? Several solutions are possible.

Opt for antireflux milks or thicken it with starch or carob flour;

Split his meals and do not give too large quantities;

Elevate the child by placing an inclined plane of about 30 to 40° in his bed. You can also slip a pillow under the mattress.

"If this is insufficient, his doctor may prescribe gastric dressings to be taken before the meal: these line the stomach lining and facilitate digestion", specifies Dr. Clerget.

As a rule, gastroesophageal reflux disappears at the time of walking. Otherwise, the doctor may prescribe acid secretion inhibitors and check by fibroscopy if there are no abnormalities in the esophagus or stomach.